cum sa fi manelist in cativa pasi simpli

Moarte tiganilor, manelistilor si celor ce promoveaza incultura!!!Forta Nuova, Noua Dreapta pana la capat!
History

Manele is one of the most popular as well as one of the most fucking retarded music genres in Romania today.

Many Romanians hate the music and wish it to be banned.
The song 1. Accordion (gypsies must have a big smile on their mouth with shining gold teeth inside) 2. Bad organ 3. Blowing instruments (big mouth gipsy with thin moustache is a must) 4. Synthesizer drums – sample sound: ta ran ca tan ta ran ca tan 5. Saxophone (only if the song gets meowy – preferred phrases: Haililiii, Hauliuuuu)
2. Voice 1. Optional 2. Reverb 3. Echo 4. Must-have foreign accent
3. Originality is optional
4. The song have same rhythm (usually short cut from a success song), any change can make the singer lose it.

Age: 23

How to become a manelist 1. Pick a cool name (also known as “bashtanu”, or “shmenaru”, or “baronu”, or “cretinu”, or “la platane”) (Elvis, Ailenei, Bica Danila, Vali Nebunu’ (Crazy Vali), Anelka Balauru’ Fermecat (Anelka the Enchanted Dragon), Gigi Fermecătoru’ (Gigi The Charming One), Englezu de fier (The Iron Englishman), Chipeşu Moineştiului (The Beauty of Moineşti), Florin Salam (Flowers in Salami), Florinel Fisu’ – cu Soia (His Son – with Soy), Ion Fasole (John Beans – not to be confused with Jim Beam), Bibi Macaroană (Bibi Maccaroni), Copilul Minune (Wonder Boy) also called Adiţă Avortu’ Merveioz Minune, Barbosu DelaVrancea, Mihai Canal (Mycanalization), Ciupanezu, Danny Merţan (Danny Mercedes), Piedone, Gigi Oaie (Gigi Sheep), Florin Fermecătorul (Florin the Enchanter), Slick Unsurosu’ (Slicky Slick), Efes, Adonis din Carpaţi (Idolu’ Femeilor), Titel Vocalistu’ Nr. 1, Maria-Dolores de la Satu Mare, Sandu Ciorbă, Gigi Talent, Gigi Sabie (Gigi Sword), Petre Tate (Petre Tits), Fane Patent (Stevie Tongs), Sile cu Gâtu’ de Aur (Sile with the Golden Neck), Ricky de la Ciorogârla, Jean-Balauru’ cu vocea-n flăcări (Jean-Dragon with the Voice on Flames), Sorin Necunoscutu (Sorin The Unknown One) Nicuşor Jeleu, Vasile Trotinetă (Vasile Pedal-Scooter), Esmeralda Papuc (The Emerald Slipper), Băiatu de aur (Golden Boy), Leonardo Africanu’ (Leonardoafro), Minotaura del Monta, Alexiei Artistu’ Nemărginit (Alexiei the Boundless Artist), Izabela de la Focşani, Cerumel Gherasim, Gabi Şuncă, Guţă Puţă de Maimută, Florin Salam Barbos, Regele Sexului (The King of Sex),Gigi Carnat(Gigi Sausage), Ionel Copilu de Tabla, Alex Mafiotu, Fane Barosanu de la Ploiesti, Liviu Gigalaul, Stefanel Artistu de aur,Lionel de la Craiova, Baby Minune(Baby Wonder),etc) –> to offer just a small contribution of suggestions…
2. Mandatory lack of culture, and IQ below the sea level.
3. Must own: limo , castle with lots of little towers and a logo with your name on the roof, faraoanca/campioană (a kind of queen, but more slutty weighting more than 500 pounds) and boraci (puradei, Romanian word for gipsy children/intestinal parasites). Any manelist must be a king or Earl like… Liviu Mare Ban de Corabia (i.e.: Liviu Great Earl of Corabia).
4. Family in jail, and relatives living under a bridge, in cardboard boxes
5. Look 1. Having inscriptions such as like “69 Puta Madre” and don’t know what it means. 2. If over 35 years wear a big mustache and smile much like famous Vali the Storm (Vali Vijelie) and Nicholas Gutza (Nicolae Gutza). 3. Jewelry: lots of it , bling , gold necklaces, gold bracelets, gold rings (more than 50% of total body weight)(must weight at least 10 kg), really big gold coins (salbe) 4. Haircut: 2 parts hair gel, 1 part hair; usually the more challenged sexually of the manelisti adopt a seemingly punk hairstyle by shaving the sides of their heads; however this symptom must NEVER be confused with the punk hairstyle, as in the manelisti it’s just a cry for help coming from their sexual difficulties (“au pula mica” translated in romanian); they just want to look like big cocks so they wear a creast; other manelisti with iq’s below -50 shave their heads entierly, leaving only a little bit (“un smoc futut” in Romanian) just above their foreheads 5. Hair Color: black, preferably with strange shapeless plague-like yellow stains 6. Clothes: flashy and tasteless. Must have black, white or pink shirt, ciocate, cowboy hat, vest or cape and white sox; somewhere on the wardrobe MUST be a flashy inscription citing: “Gigolo Italiano” and a price anywhere between 50$ and 200$ representing the value (valoarea) of the manelist wearing it. 7. Having a voice and style that says : Proud to be gay 8. Having a “tan” skin is a plus(gypsy style), but sometimes is a minus, because you’ll have to turn on your camera’s blitz to take them a photo. 9. It is quite trendy for a “cocalar” or manelar futut şi retardat or cioară împuţită şi analfabetă (endearment of a manelist) to wear white clothes head to toes to stress the colour of his skin, and to damage the retina of the people coming by so they wouldn’t see how he throws dirty money at the fiddler’s feet performing a ritual in which he repeats the words “fara numar”(countless) extensively

!!!!!!!!!!!! WARNING !!!!!!!!!!!! If don’t not have Indian-Arabian-black apparency and your not a gypsy or gypsy type of guy then your manelist career will be OVER so get a tan really quick and start acting like a total cool guy repeating the “fara numar” expression to your family and all friends.

City: Bucharest(Caution…use anti – gipsy spray)
Hometown: Bucharest
Country: Romania
Interests and Hobbies: Half of my life is music, and the other half is torturing idiots.
Movies and Shows: Save private Ryan, Lotr, Bruce Almighty, Evan Almighty..
Music: Sonata Arctica, Luca Turilli, Rhapsody, Manowar, Haggard, Rammstein, Children of Boddom, Dimmu Borgir, Samae, Moonspell. Judas Priest, Candlemass, Iron Maiden, Monnsorrow, Finntroll, Soulfly, Sepultura, Satyricon, Nightwish, Within Temptation and many more
Books: Da Vinci Code,The Broken Code of Da Vinci, Digital Fortress, Angel and Demon, The Conspiration, Great Expectations, Desert Rats

~ prin OMFG_PONEYS pe iulie 16, 2008.

2 Răspunsuri to “cum sa fi manelist in cativa pasi simpli”

  1. Maneaua a aparut prin anul 1994. Adepti acestui cult se numesc manelisti sau cocalari. Aceste creaturi se pot deosebi prin stilul vestimentar. Masculul poarta in cel mai rau caz un tricou roz pe care scrie italiano gigollo iar femela poarta lucruri mini,mulate iar suncile acesteia atarna printre “haine”. Acum aceasta specie (manelisti, manelari) este foarte raspandita in Romania (2 sau 3 manelisti pe metru patrat) ei prezentand o inteligenta minima au tendinta sa atace celelalte culturi(rapperi, rockeri etc)…

  2. *Adeptii

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